Will Money Doom Earth?
I want to apologize for not being on top of my blogging game as of late. I have been quite distracted lately. I have found a good job opportunity that I am on hold for now, awaiting my fate to see if they will let me continue or not. Like any other problem with me getting better full time work, I am once again awaiting the permission basis of others to let me earn more money.
Therefore I have been nothing but an emotional tailspin mentality for the past week as I seem to also not be having a lot of success getting my friends attention to see what this is all about. Having to do what I have to do, which was show them what my criminal charge was, my own statement letter and a character letter from a friend, I now await to see if they will allow me to continue. My friend did send me a good character letter. There are still a lot of elements that I am that are true blessings in my life.
I am damned if money won’t stop overshadowing my good nature. I also know fairly factually that money is also the root of evil killing our modern society. High gas prices, debts going up, poor housing market, everything going up but the paychecks of the hard workers in life.
Money sure love putting is suffocating choke hold on me. I am sure the greed of this planet is over sighting the fact that their own greed and refusal to let earning a living remain true will destroy this planet. Natural disasters, personal crimes growing, people now stealing gas, stealing identity, and just watching this number, that number we call money, now attack humanity’s means to just survive.
It is so easy to sit in your own little protective bubble and down talk anyone who cannot or is not doing the same. Just wait until that bubble gets burst, which I am sure would be illegally done and eventually nothing that can be justified by that. Now hearing sayings like, “you should have thought about that before you decided to not share wealth and be productive for everyone’s sake.” Oppression is oppression. It really does not matter if we oppress with someone’s skin color, someone’s race, religion choice, sexual preference, sexual levels, age, etc. It all becomes the exact same thing and the ongoing repeated history of our country.
My real question become, will we make the changes that have to happen in a time of peace? Or do we always need something highly disastrous, as in September 11, 2001, to wake up once again that our country as a whole isn’t always all that. Thus why do we need to witness a catastrophe before we ever learn anything and what our mistakes are in life?
I get a little tired of humbling myself. I am just exhausted from having some of the ugliest thoughts run through my head. Just never finding the way to be in full control of my own life and destiny and always relying on what seems to be now the unreliable to help me out on anything that I must do for myself.
I have no clue how to remove myself from this corner I am now backed into if I cannot continue with this business. I’ll still promote them. Let people know about prepaid legal solutions and identity theft shield, just direct them to people who were good to me in letting me the option to join this band wagon.
I’m just tired of never seeing anyone care about my very own needs in life. I pour out my heart and soul to make life better. To be the best person who I can ever be. I’ve put a bad element of my life behind me but seem to be the only one who sees it this way. I turn to anyone and anything to guidance and assistance and feel like I talk to walls. For having a lot of modern ways to communicate, they sure know how to be quiet.
Where my heart feels the heaviest is simply this. I already made the conscious decision on how to be. I know where I want my personality, my nature and demeanor, to remain. I fight to always be that good person now. Following the law, wanting to help others in need to get them over their own problems in life. To always go out of my way for others. And this decision for myself is but one very alone decision made. I have no clue if my love for life is being reciprocated. I hurt when a good lady friend of mine isn’t making that initial contact to me, hoping she will know to join me at a party I’ve invited her out to, one she definitely wants to join up with me at. I am in pain knowing that if I cannot be allowed to do this work for prepaid legal, I am officially told one no way too many, now officially knowing that no one want me to ever earn the money I need to be earning. That this will force me to now severe my social life, costing money I cannot afford to spend, just to be out with friends. While that much closer to just preferring to be dead, than trying to fight this lie of a life, seeing how I have no one, and nothing, to show for my hard work and efforts of making my life better, but way too many hang in there’s and good luck wishes when I really need results.
I don’t deserve to have to think like that. It is one thing to do what must be done, but this is something absurd and should never have to be the case. I made and oath to my friends to always be that good guy, that sweet heart of a man, that scholar and gentleman, to watch it be destroyed because too many people out there won’t assist me in earning a living in this modern society.
My problems are still nothing comparing it to other people. I still realize this as well. But this is my problem and boundary to overcome. Can I give anyone an honest answer why money has to plague my life (let alone the lives of hundreds and thousands of people). Probably not and never. Can I ever give anyone an honest answer why I see human sexuality in the lime lights that I am seeing it? While blogging away to help educate how to help end sex offense, I’ll never know the full truth on this either. There is no question in my mind someone has used human sexuality as a weapon against humanity itself. Sure I can regret having the crime in my past at all. I can regret how people must blindly view sex in society and in this world. I can never regret the growth and learning process that I did get from the experience in my life. That no one will ever seem to care about due to being too blinded by hatred and stereotypes.
Hate is your actual weapon of mass destruction. Oh, mass destruction isn’t always bang, game over for everyone. Hate has been my giver psychological scar since the day I was born. I’m tired of letting hate destroy me. I am tired of being in fear of doing too much alone. I am tired of not seeing the cooperation I need to know for a fact I can do what I am meant to be doing. I am just damned in being alone. Very little to turn towards, not having my good life shared, and feeling that my good spirit is just being wasted, by the constant overshadowing of negative evil that plagues every single person constantly.
Pray for me that this job will let me do what I need to do. It will be the first step of me always remaining in the right direction. The director who is helping me in this new business did send me a very nice video link, about 3 minutes in length or so, which I will share with you all as well. http://www.simpletruths.tv/movies.php?movie=MYBB
I am not giving up hope. I just need some assistance to keep me that way. I mean too much to other people to let myself be a victim to money. I am also very not alone in this either. I pray to anyone else out there who also suffers from constantly seeing every possible want, need, and desire always seeming to be never answered in their own lives.
Life has proven to be dangerously unbalanced. If everyone’s money issues (too much and not enough) does not regain the control it should have, then we will be witnessing money be the death of earth. Which I then only ask this question?
Is your attitude with a number really worth the existence of the only place you have no choice but to live on?
May we all find the answers we seek, the prayers we need answered, and the blessings remain forever with us to take us to that next level in life where we all deserve to be.
Be good, be strong, and be safe. Peace.
Tags: personal, work, emotions, fear, paranoia, others, money, life, permission, existence, hope, job opportunity, earth, doom, earning a living, bills, scared, working, inner thoughts
