From fear to refocus.

From Fear to Refocus

 

            I guess it is safe to say that reality gave me a nasty smack around all this week.  So this simple blog is about my most recent fear and how I am now refocused and driven once again to my goals in life.

 

            Money has truthfully made this world one very ugly place.  People have turned into some of the worst beast ever over it.  I am far from any exception to this rule.  This number and idea in our heads has turned reality into this harshness that shouldn’t even have to exist, and yet it does.

 

            I’ve did a couple of post recently, one of a bunch of questions, and a second on a potential career path I hope to be apart of still, that were driven on this ability of earning money and the whole paranoia of no one ever helping me even be allowed or permitted to the most basics of fundamentals, that we provide no other options or alternatives to be apart of.

 

            I have my rights to express this fear.  Writing is probably my most important salvation ever.  I would be dead otherwise if anything else.  I would even state that it is my civil duty to mention that our attitudes and systems for earning money will eventually destroy everyone.  That is a reality I believe I reserve the right to prevent and even stop, especially since we are in a time of peace state, homeland wise at least. 

 

            It is too easy to see how greed has basically killed humanity’s best and greatest of values.  Trust.  Faith.  Belief.  Understanding.  Forgiveness.  Each of these being a value I fight to remain having and every day I fight to prove I still deserve to hold on to the worth every one of these values holds.  I am far from perfect.  I might not even always write with the greatest of professionalism.  I will always write out the honest truth of my feelings and emotions.  That is a gift that someone out there deserves to experience, take from that experience, and hopefully grow themselves from that experience.

 

            I am a 33 year old male who to date has yet been able to seize and opportunity to take good care of himself and then to others by being a living example.  I have my imperfections.  To be honest, the 5% of me that may be sin should be buried under the 95% of me that is that fighting saint.  I believe strongly in positive support.  I believe strongly in goodness and proving what it means to preserve that goodness. 

 

            I grow tired of having my emotions ride some roller coaster because I am fighting too hard for cooperation that isn’t there and my basic fundamental needs along the lines of money, and even sometimes love, just aren’t being met.  I cannot give up and I won’t quit until I do find what I need in this life and who I deserve to be with in this life.

 

            My life is now.  Not two years from now.  Not never.  It is now.  I’ve lived in obscurity and inhibition way too long now.  I am not going to allow negative nay saying people to control or dominate my life anymore. 

 

            Not fear, but focus.  Not paranoia, but determination.  Not hatred, but education.

 

            Be good, be strong, and be safe now.  Peace.

I Question

I Question

 

Is everything on earth a lie waiting to explode?

Is money and economy new age terrorism?

Is any business opportunity legitimate? Or is everything a scam?

What is a person’s right to an income source?

Why are laws being pass that demands people to spend money?  (Health insurance?)

What is the price of freedom?

Did we allow modern life to escape us all way too much?

Who is right?

Who is wrong?

Do you still believe in God?

Must you make God himself look vein?

 

How can you expect people to spend money you won’t let them earn to begin with?

What is the difference between business opportunities being legitimate vs. scandal?

Is it time to make money itself illegal?

 

When did we all lose touch with humanity?

Isn’t employment just a different way of saying “slavery”?

Did we not pass a law that abolishes slavery?

 

Since when is permitting a person to earning a basic living impossible to procure?

Why do we allow life to cost too much and refuse to allow people of life to earn enough?

At what point is trying to keep up with economy a crisis?

At what point do we declare war on economy itself?

 

Must we always shed blood to prove a point?

Must we always fight for rights constantly bastardize by others?

 

Is greed an illness?

Is greed terrorism?

 

What needs to be done to put an end to the headaches that man himself created?

What needs to occur to wake up society and life to the evils of today?

 

Why do we pay the price to being something we are not?

What must happen to let us all be who we deserve to be?

 

Why do we attack humanity at every possible angle imaginable?

 

Impending on our rights and taking away our rights to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness, by remaining human.

 

Who suffers for their crimes committed onto me?

Who pays for refusing to stand up against the tyranny of this modern era?

Why do we not control the very natures that we created?

Why do we not control life itself?

Control employment?

Wages?

Health benefits?

Health in general?

People’s rights to be satisfied?

People’s ability to overcome all odds?

 

If money is the root and source of all evil?

Why do we continue to let evil plague us all?

Foreclosed homes?

CEO’s?

Oil Company Owners?

War?

Terrorism?

 

Must everyone out there resort to violence to make themselves free?

Why do we always attack every possible angle of humanity?

At what point in time is every aspect of life a crisis?

At what pint in time every aspect of life is an act of fraud?

 

We force ourselves to earn a living.

Yet we have no rights to earn the very living we demand to be having.

Is it finally time to remove the biggest play toy everybody thinks makes this world go around?

Is it time to remove the plight called money?

Or do we need to more so remove the plight of stupidity and ignorance?

 

Is there really a difference?

 

When earth itself dies.

 

I must ask again.

 

Is there a difference?  For what good is your greed and material possession once you enter the afterlife?  What good is your hate and misunderstanding when you are no more? 

 

Must everything that exists as far as we know of it be jeopardized, just to see the errors of our ways?

Is it really that impossible to make sure everyone is in this together?   Or do we keep allowing the shallowness of life best us all?  Constantly.

Personal Update and Dilemma.

Personal Update and Dilemma.

 

            I am realizing and starting to really see the value of the business model and how important it is to be helpful and useful to others.  My past month is fighting to be successful and being on the receiving end of working too hard for almost nothing except for some short term gratitude that doesn’t pay the bills.

 

            I am currently in pursuit of being with Metro Public Adjusting.  My whole livelihood actually can depend on me being successful with this business.  One the one hand it feels like it is taking too long, since earning money is always an immediacy, while on the other hand it is exactly what I need to change my whole life around and finally be in charge. 

 

            Right now I am disappointed in some people not getting back to me, which also includes my immediate up-line trainer.  I wonder if my seriousness in this is being taken only seriously by me.  I will overcome this barrier of my life as well, but I need to address this barrier, thus this article.

 

            I can’t help but to notice a severe lack of will power and how easy it becomes to be taken advantage of, no matter what part of life we can talk about.  I sat with a  couple friends of mine, one of them being someone I love deeply, hearing how they worked for a company and how abusive the multi tasking and stress that created on them.  Even now I am suffering from being under employed when it comes to by the hour work.  So of course this creates fear and concern.

 

            I almost wonder how much longer society itself will tolerate the major lack of care on other people’s behalf when it comes to earning money in this society?  People lost on all major fronts the value of what it means to take good care of those who work for you and assist in your own employment needs.  What is even worst is how wrong and abusive I am seeing, hearing, and even witnessing when it comes to any job out there, by the hour or salary. 

 

            The con’s to the business model is the income is never guarantee.  Usually always sales of some sort, but on some occasions, like Metro Public Adjusting, you already bought your insurance.  Our job is to make sure you have the right insurance and to make sure your home doesn’t host any major damage. 

 

            We are an over informationed society.  We cannot keep up with every possible aspect of life and will suffer in some areas.  Rather it is time budgeting, having a social life, exercising, doing something that is right for you, etc.  Something gives with all the simple and complex things developed in our modern society.  I rarely watch television anymore and my reading of books is so on a back burner anymore, it’s just sad.  I fight to put myself in a decent position and yet I can’t be given solid answers to my questions or find how I can be permitted to do decent work and earn real income.

 

            This is how Pre-Paid Legal Services. Inc. lost out on me.  They won’t tell me when I can work for them, without sending in an application and paying a fee every six months.

 

            I am to a certain degree thinking it is almost time for a Constitutional law to everyone’s right to an income source that covers expenses should be pass and enforced.  We’ve became too ridiculous when it comes to financial needs.  Let alone the large amount of fraud and exploitation that goes on in this world.  Its nerve racking and stomach sickening.

 

            BUT WE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, DESPITE POPULAR BELIEF!

 

            Just because people have their imperfections does not mean we must always suffer from those imperfections.  I need to make this new revenue in my life work for me.  I need to escape this employment slavery that I am going through.  I know I can make it work, but damn I just wish the cooperation levels were better there for me.

 

            In due time whatever this nonstop inhibition bubble is that surrounds me will be burst.  I got one hell of a ball to be running with an only ask to be given the proper cooperation and respect in doing so. 

 

            It can hurt greatly when you chose to make life better, and you chose this decision alone.  I know truthfully this isn’t the case.

 

            No matter how long it takes me to make this business work in my favor, I WILL NOT QUIT!  This money barrier in my life will break yet.

 

            Be good, be strong and be safe now.  Peace.

Thoughts on Jaycee Dugard and helping to End Sex Offense.

Thoughts on Jaycee Dugard story.

 

            Here is one of those amazing fortunate good ending stories that rarely come about.  Of course from this there is also a lot of sensitive hype that will also come about.  My many already written blogs have covered a lot of this.

 

            I first want to state some major pride that I felt in something mentioned in a story reel that I got to see.  There are parents and this understanding that while what happened is tragic, it is also important to know that such victims are going to continue to live, and they cannot be stuck in those horrible moments in life.  I seriously hope that Jaycee Dugard can find her stride now and find a way to be supportive, and possibly even help make a career in using her experience to prevent others from being victims, and even victimizers of similar situations.

 

            I know and can guarantee this much to all of you.  Not every sex offender is your Phillip Garrido or Nancy Garrido.  The husband and wife who had Jaycee Dugard kidnapped all that time.  I also would like to point out that not all sex offenders are even like Jesse Timmendequas (got information from Wikipedia on this), the initial culprit who kidnapped, raped, and murdered Megan Kanka, the seven year old that initially established Megan’s Law.

 

            Here is one thing I can guarantee when it comes to human sexuality and the crimes it can involve.  It really does know how to stir emotion and can even create personal havoc.  I’m wondering where to go next with this article without writing a book.  I’ll do my best to keep it simple.

 

            Sex offense is sadly quite common.  Rather people will acknowledge this or not, human sexuality will apply to everyone and this does not support any age limitations what so ever.  From my error in life I’ve grown to understand the extremist that is involved with sex and crimes involving sex.  From base ignorance to the psychopathic and sociopathic problems that are indeed there and existing, illegal AND legal; to realizing how many levels of abuse there can be.

 

            Falling short of executing the whole entire human race for our crimes to ourselves, which is where if we don’t proceed cautiously is what something with such strong emotional force behind it can lead; I realize the huge importance in what it means to not be fearful, paranoid, and even irrational, and replace all of that with focus, determination, and education to do what I wish I could do by any means possible.

 

            End Sex Offense.

 

            I’ll wrap this up, knowing shorter is usually better, with some quick tips for people.

 

            Keep in mind hatred isn’t necessary the answer and can even accomplish the direct opposite of your intent.  I speak out of personal experience here.  Raw emotion that you may only apply to sex crimes and offenses seen by younger people can cause a curiosity in them, where if they discover for themselves how human sexuality works, can even end up future sex offenders themselves, without a proper education or learning on how to handle those emotions and feelings.  Ignorance isn’t bliss when it can cost people their freedom.

 

            Educate everyone, especially the young, how wrong oppression is.  Teach how wrong it is to be chauvinistic.  Teach how wrong it is to be a bully to someone else, to hate someone else, or anything that creates oppression to another person.  We host for now a hype with sexual abuse, keep in mind it is also very likely and common to talk or know of religion abuse, politic abuse, employment abuse, and any other modern day aspect that can be abused in today’s society.  I am not saying we need every Tom, Dick and Harry out there prosecuted, because this also translates into the world is a better place without the whole entire human race.  Even I won’t allow that to happen.

 

            Life goes on will always be the bottom line to all arguments.  With or without you life will go on.  Through my own therapy, I believe everyone needs to understand this much.  This is the hand you are dealt with in life, rather your problems are involving sex, personal understanding, education, work, or any other possibility out there; how do you play your hand? 

 

            There is no simple short term solution to this problem of human sexuality vs. our understanding and acceptance of it.  Abstinence is great for some people, does not mean it applies to all people.  We are just as capable of impending on the rights and freedom of people who are sexually open and responsible, compare to what we already see and know most of, those who abuse and destroy human sexuality and human nature with ignorance and this need to oppress.

 

            There are ways of separating sex offenses from sex crimes.  There are also ways of knowing if we are pushing too hard to create hell on those who violate laws.  We do need to keep in mind and respect our US Constitution and all of our rights. 

 

            The best way to help end sex offense, provide no reasons or justifications why they should happen to begin with.

 

            Men.  Be in charge of yourselves.  Realize that your sexuality levels can also be used to make men a minority in our society.  Don’t be controlling over other people period.  Don’t be afraid to seek out help either so you don’t fall into the traps that can make you a sex offender yourself, however that may occur.

 

            Women.  Honestly, the same thing as men with this much more to keep in mind.  I realize the historical conditioning in men and women being different.  Be in charge, don’t be afraid to defend yourselves, and know where you stand.  If you are confused or just don’t know if something is true with you or not, find ways to give yourself the proper education so you can make a solid decision and take a solid stance of what truths apply to you. 

 

            There isn’t any fast solution to this problem of sex offense.  United in focus, determination, and being educated in different needs and most importantly of all, just rewarding those who are on the right paths of life.  Sex offense can become a bad memory in this country and the rest of this world.  If we exercise no will to change, then there will be no change.  Even for those who want to do something badly enough, they will do so, we can precaution against those animal instincts and even find ways to direct such behaviors where no laws are being broken.

 

            Finally, stop hating sex.  As silly as this may sound, the easiest way to deal with sex offense is to not allow yourself be so offended to begin with.  Sometimes we are but our own worst enemy.  I know this to be true as well.

 

            So for what it is worth, my thought and prayers to Jaycee Dugard in finding an establish and prosperous life from this point forward.  No one can change or erase the past.  Even I would love to, but know that isn’t the case.  WE can ALL TAKE CHARGE of our now and our future.  Rather we are victims, victimizers, or even just victimizers of ourselves.  There is a solution to all these problems.  Not fear but focus, not paranoia but determination, and not hatred but education.

 

            United, knowing that all people are equal, we can all end sex offense.  Even those whom already are on the wrong side of the law and are sex offenders already, we can end sex offense.

 

            Be good, be strong and be safe now.  Peace and may we all find in life what it is we seek and need.

To Date Summary.

To Date Summary

 

            A question recently asked to me is why I have for the past two years been exercising my freedom to blog about having to help put and end to all the variable to sex offense.  I will paragraph my multiple reasons, while hoping this won’t end up too long.

 

            My own offense is purchasing child porn.  It has the title of sexual abuse of children, which can be misleading if you don’t know the definition and actual laws.  There are three main portions of the law.  Making and distribution are both felony of the second degree, while possession of is a felony of the third degree.  I don’t really agree with the title of this law, because it is misleading.  I don’t like their exemption portion of the law because it comes across as a way to entrap people and exploiting something completely different than kids.  The definition has a grey area of understanding.  While someone like myself would not find this a problem, I know other people would exploit this grey area to no extent.  Basically someone wanted to know why I had sex with that child, when the truth is I tried to purchase something I should not have.  Thus the only person who I hurt was myself.

 

            The whole surrealism process I went through was a necessary stepping stone in my life.  It got me out of a hell that was worst than not being punished, and I learned things that never being in trouble with the law would have never taught me.

 

            Thus this weblog and my goal to help end sex offense is born. 

 

            We underestimate in many ways what it means to be in full ownership of our individual lives.  While we become busy and maybe even obsessive with protecting the youth of this world, we forget that they are not exempt from the many evils or even factors of this world just because they didn’t spend 18 years of life on this planet yet. 

 

            Already written about lessons include all of the following:

 

            Every person has four fundamental human emotional drives.  This is thirst, hunger, protection, and sexuality.  Every person needs to eat, drink, have clothing on their bodies or be protected from the elements of the planet, and have sex.  This can all be elaborated into having a balance diet and the right amount of food for nourishment, drinking the correct, proper, and clean amounts of liquid, making sure every person has a roof over their heads and the right amount of clothing to not impending on whatever individual rights they may need help in balancing, and not so much having an orgasm as much as having a happy family life and the right mixture of friends to enjoy life with.

 

            While ignorance to the law is no excuse, ignorant laws are just as inexcusable.  When a law exist base on the un-wanting or disliking of opinion, this in truth just sets up a domino effect waiting for disaster.  It takes more than a person opinion to be basis for a law. 

            Anyone and everyone can end up a sex offender.  Offense is a poorly chosen word because it is subjected to opinion and takes away base facts and even creates the problems of oppression in ways we are not thinking of or even considering, because we are blinded by the hatred or ignorance of emotions created by people who were not even us to begin with.  This also includes not knowing why you have the thoughts or emotions you have to begin with.

 

            There are all types of people who are criminals.  I at one point listed 5 types, I can’t recall them all quite now.  The first type is the most common stereotypical expectancy.  They are the actual psychopaths and sociopaths that plot out of legitimate intent.  A second type is the one that breaks my own heart, are those with autism, down syndrome, or any other mental retardation that stops them from really knowing the right from the wrong.  They are in jail mostly because their life situation won’t allow them to be otherwise.  One such person is on probation for 20 years, not because his crime merits such, but because it is the only way to keep his problem being safe in society.  The rest of the types fall into the categories of being stupid, being ignorant and because they can, to finishing with because they were in a bad position in life just to begin with.  A person can only be as good as the environment they grow up in.

 

            The worst types of people won’t be leaving the prison system.  Other types of offensive are easier to deal with.  Internet related crimes are some of the easiest people to keep on the straight and narrow path.  While not always true, the main point is sex offense and sex issues are an individual basis.  There is no cookie cutter solution to the problem.  While some factors may be common, like clinical depression, over weight issues, upon other not of the normal stereotypical life expectancy, they are always the common denominator.

 

            Law deterrent isn’t enough, there needs to be educational ways and rewarding proper living if you really want to see the end of crime.  Most importantly, we must all replace fear, paranoia, and hatred with education, focus, and determination to really help put and end to any illicit behavior.  Sex offense is just something I know more about these days.

 

            The main point in understanding that sex offense is an individual basis is to remind ourselves not every sex offender is the worst of the worst out there.  Some sex offenders don’t ever want that association, not all sex offenders are in regards to kids, and some sex offenders DID NOT commit the crime.  You also have a whole lot of people out there not caught by the law.  Take how many are on Megan’s Law, double that number should be the amount of people in trouble with the sex offense laws.  While this is just a hazard guess, figure 10% of those people either did not commit the crime or could have been in trouble with different types of laws.  I am not aware enough to give an honest opinion or answer as to how many care to ever be threatening ever again.  40-60% is probably not a bad range guess.

 

            Your lack of well being is someone else’s paycheck.  This is more disturbing to me than some of the laws themselves.  I think a lot of people should be just as equally insulted as well.  Also, it is just as possible that the whole sex offense is being used as a psychological terrorist warfare tactic.  One less person on the battle field becomes two or more less people on the battle field.  Law isn’t necessary all saint either.  Someone may be relying on your hate or ignorance to force you to end up a victim to your own lack of well being, thus more money in their pocket.  While I can’t prove such to be true, nor would I ever want to, my main goal here is to paint the realization of such which will deterrent those who might not be law breakers, but should safe guard themselves form doing so. 

 

            We might not have started the fires, we don’t need to be continuing to fuel them.  I have many other thoughts and even given specific examples and stories as to what to expect, what and how to think or react, and what can be forgiven and what will be the last things ever done by some individual decisions.  The world doesn’t need to be perfect, it does need to support the good in keeping them good and not allow one ounce of evil destroy everything.  We are not a society of androids or zombies without individual thoughts and opinions, we should stop acting like we must.  (Employment criteria, earning a living, etc.)

 

            Balance has to be more than our human fundamental emotion drives.  You need balance in the physical, mental, and social senses as well.  I would even add to this the psychological sense and financial sense.  I don’t think there are many people out there who are balance financially with all the news and crap going on in this world.  It is just as important to make sure everyone is earning the base cost of living, minimally, or we are all just repeating and becoming desensitize to the problems and issues of our world.

 

            This is all a massive undertaking for me.  I can’t do so along in helping to put a stop to sex offense.  Believe me, if I could have a career in helping to end sex offense, I would.  Right now I don’t know of that option being open to me.  Writing is for now my only outlet to helping end and educate on the many factors that has piled up a mountain of a mess, which is our piss poor attitude towards human sexuality and all the problems it has created.  I am looking to give birth to what I call Sex Offense Awareness and Prevention (S.O.A.P).  For now I can only write and spread the word and wisdom, hoping I do curve someone’s mentality for the better over the whole sex offense situation and attitude, even with non sexual problems, and providing a better positive life for everyone.  Even if they did make a mistake by helping those never make those mistakes again.

 

            To error is to be human.  I am proud to admit that I can make mistakes and bad decisions.  It proves that I am still human.  A fortune cookie saying that I take to heart.

 

            Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.

 

            Be good, be strong and be safe now.  Hope this summary helps those understand my full goals and intents in life.  It isn’t always easy staying in a positive mind, but it does prove to be necessary.  Peace.

Renewed Concentrations

Renewed Concentrations

 

            I want to apologize for the lengthy delay between posts.  I have been very busy as of late that I barely have had downtime to myself.  I am typing out a renewed concentration blog for myself as well as different online clients that may pay me to do blogging. 

 

            I will provide better details in a future blog, which may have to grow separate from my typical write everything up in MS Word first than just copy and paste to said blog page that I own.  Since I just started with two new clients that will pay me, I am just starting off with a new missionary page on what I have been doing, since I will be having pretty much three different blogs for all this going at one.  Only two of the three will be this same type up goal and mission.

 

            For those whom been following my post, I speak out of learning the hard way experience and am driven to help put and end to the evils with human sexuality, which also include the things we do not think about or even perceived with our loving and concern when it comes to the issues of our perceptions with sex and today’s society.  In simpler terms, I aim to help put and end to sex offense by educating people in how to not start being a sex offender to begin with, as well as understanding what are the sex offenses and which ones are easier to deal with compare to others.

 

            I don’t support those who may rape, do ill things to women, and some other cases men as well.  While I fully understand the laws now of being over 18 vs. being under 18, I also care to help educate that 18 years of life is no magical number when it comes to having hormones and understanding that with our four fundamental human emotional drives (thirst, hunger, protection, and sexuality), you cannot ignore and be ignorant towards typical human needs.  Yet we do keep striving to oppress and be damaging, no matter which side of the law an individual may fall under.

 

            I will be breaking down such details in later blogs.  This will also focus in with money as well.  Thanks to current politicians, greed, and owners of major business and wealth, the need to what it means to spread the wealth is also a hot topic on my own behalf as well.

 

            Thus why I am trying now to be paid to blog.  *grin*  Kidding aside, people seem to underestimate the need of making sure the general populous needs to earn and be permitted to earn the base standard cost of living, just with basic expenses and insurances for all such commodities.  Sadly we are living in an era of greed and lack of major support for the average person, where people demand you to spend money they won’t even guarantee you can earn.  Plus earning a living is “not their problem.”

 

            I also intend to combat those evils as well.  We were all developed by founding fathers to be a united nation.  Yet we do extremely well dividing ourselves with so many titles and labels that it can be embarrassing, insulting, and god forbidden, even existence threatening if we don’t take care and precautions in allowing certain behaviors grow too far.

 

            Since money and sexual understanding tend to be what has damage me most in my own life, why not blog about and help provide a personal experience in wanting to end the evils that has directly effected me?  It is time to remain united and keep the positive outlook in life alive and well.

 

            I have this tendency to sign off as well with this simple sentence.  May everyone enjoy what I got to share and I hope my wisdom will aid others in making better decisions in life in general.

 

            Be good, be strong, and be safe now.  Peace.

Time to make me a paid writer.

This is a simple blog to get myself currently paid to post blogs.  Basically payperpost.com wants me to post the following so I prove to be the owner of this blog.

This chopped board joins with the poke under the concluded fountain.

In case advertisers decide to read into this, my blog site is geared to help educate people on understanding different levels of abuse, expecially along the lines of sex offense and currently regards to money.  Some blogs show my more depress side than others, but for the rest of my readers.  I will be getting back into the swing of things.  Current chaos with me in my normal paying jobs basically has me concerned.  So now it is time to find ways for me to be paid at what I do best, write to share thoughts and hope to help assist even only just one person out there in understanding that we are always in control, even if no one else see it to be that way. 

All the love, hate, money, and greed doesn’t stop basic fundamental facts from continuing.  I still got some thoughts to share in some past and recent stories.

Until then, please continue all to be good, be strong and be safe now.  Peace.

Brief pause until further notice.

At least this time I am making it clear my writing will be on pause. I am a bit busy concentrating on making myself a Public Aduster and ended up failing my adjuster solicitor test today. So it is reschedule and take it again time. Get myself set up and out of the way.

I definitely want to chime in with that Duery story, the woman who turned up 18 years later when she was kidnapped at the age of 11. My apologies for mispelling the name and any other typos in this.

There is some good things that i heard out of hearing this story. I definitely got some advice to chime in on from all of that.

So until then, keep fighting the good fight and don’t give up no matter what.

Be good, be strong, and be safe now. Peace.

So Much To Do, So Little Time.

So Much To Do, So Little Time

 

            I have been trying to do a lot as of late.  Probably a little over my head with the amount of work responsibility I am taking on.  I’m coming out of a fairly long depression state and have been exhausted physically and mentally throughout that time. 

 

            The economy is becoming an impossible to deal with concern.  I have discovered how dangerous allowing earning a living being a permission basis can become, especially when that permission ends up being nothing but ‘no’ everywhere one turns.  I’m just praying that the shit doesn’t totally hit the fan and then all sorts of regret will be everywhere to be seen, assuming you are still upon the living to even see such.  This is just a very real fear that humbles me whenever I need to remind myself of what blessings I do have working for me.

 

            I still got to set my date up for becoming a Public Adjuster.  I’m annoyed that a technical difficulty stopped me from doing so tomorrow.  It just gives me more time to study for when I am ready to set up this exam and pass it.

 

            The test isn’t my overall fear, knowing that is when they will look over my history and possibly getting the red light in doing this is.  Nothing upsets me more that being told to my face I am not permitted to earn money no matter what I do or what I try.

 

            The negative stories of this world just wear me out.  I got a friend who will bound to have trouble making a home payment.  Another friend who is IT, damn good at it but unemployed.  The work force world isn’t what it used to be anymore.  At least I am employed with two part time jobs, but still, I can’t see a 40 hour week between the two jobs.  It is infuriating none the less. 

 

            So between fighting to make myself some real levels of money, taking on some responsibility in a home campaign world, seeing how people can’t really communicate well anymore these days, plus making other aspects of my life work for me, including getting a poetry book written up for publishing, it is all one giant nightmare on my behalf.

 

            Thus I feel like I rather hibernate for the next 50 years or so at this stinking rate.

 

            Life isn’t all that bad.  It’s only frustrating due to the lack of cooperation that has become our modern society.  No one goes out of their way for other people anymore like they use to.

 

            So when you got so much to do and so little time to do it all in, blink and it is already tomorrow, you wonder where the hell did the time go.  On one very positive note, I believe I am making a huge break through with my lack of love life finally.  The woman who I care for greatly is on vacation now but I anticipate her return and prayed for her good safety.  I and she have been really hitting it off and I think I have made a great deal of progress in doing so.  It is amazing how love does cure a lot of things in life. 

 

            I can’t wait for the day hard work and appreciation pays off for me.  I am long overdue for it to finally be doing so.  A future picnic plan is in definite order it seems.  That will be a first major breakthrough.

 

            I still got the huge goal of bringing down the inexcusable hatred that goes with human sexuality and putting a stop towards sex offense.  There’s no money career in it for now for me.

 

            Yet.

 

            I will create that goal somehow.  I just need the who’s and what’s to start working and cooperating with me to make this so.  Sex Offense Awareness and Prevention will be off the ground somehow yet. 

 

            Be good, be strong and be safe now.  Peace.

Daily Pressures

Daily Pressures

 

            Each day that goes by is another day I seem to be my own worst enemy in the worry department.  Can one blame me?  Of course I already do blame myself, when it comes to factors I am in control of; I got no problem taking full responsibility.  It is the factors I have no control of that eat away at me like no tomorrow. 

 

            Work of course is on top of this list.  I hate how permission basis earning a living has become these days.  If we are not apart of some mold of working perfection for a very box society of job options, you won’t be earning a living.  This should be highly disturbing to a lot of people.  No one really makes the money that people lie about constantly.  Or if they do, does anyone really think they want to cough up such secrets, unless such said people make even more money per person they host under them?

 

            This creates more of the fear of people having enough of the whole economy concept all together and we end up declaring war against money and economy itself.  No idea will ever be more absurd to me than a full automatic in ever possible hand that exist and making it poignantly clear, think this way or die, and the moment you even breathe wrong to someone else, your life is now over just like that.  This is a truthful and honest fear with me.  Thus being killed by hate becomes my worst fear in life.

 

            The more reality goal comes from the major lost of cooperation this world has turn into.  No one goes out of their way to be supportive anymore.  Some of it is due to law suit fears.  Some of it is due to heighten over regulations and rules demanded to be exercise.  Other parts are just blatant ignorance.  Greed has proven that it can shred this planet into extinction.  Face this reality greedy people out there.  What good is your money when you are finally a corpse?  Not doing you a whole lot of good then?  Huh. 

 

            What is worst is people don’t seem to understand how to value a person, even if they did make a mistake, and let them move forward with their lives.  I feel like this is where I suffer a lot.  Sorry people that I made a bad decision and paid for it.  I only want to move onward now and just thrive and grow without any paranoia harm coming to anyone.  I would respect it if people kept my wishes alive.  I will be contacting authorities on you if you beg to differ too much.  Because then you are demanding me to break law, and I won’t stand for that.

 

            The whole mess which is our modern economy, where we demand people to live up to expectations, host nothing for people to even begin to live up to those expectations (the whole “not my problem”),  and provide nothing answer wise for those who fight constantly to begin to live up to expectations once again.  It is a miracle that this planet isn’t already dead.  (It should have been before every one of us was born.)

 

            Something has to give if we all expect things to be prosperous once again.  I would vouch for a law that grants every citizen a right to an income source, even if this means lining up several jobs and telling that person to “pick one.”

 

            The holocaust and the evils of that era offend me.  Everything else only proves to me we exercise our right to be a piss poor attitude too much, disrespecting freedom and the goodness of this world.  Every one of us has yet begun to be offended or have a real reason to complain.  Assuming you will still alive to even begin to react to such an understanding. 

 

            This has been one of those unshared fears that I haven’t been able to shake for some time now.  If I feel the pressure of being oppressed financially, even consider such financial oppression to fit into a category of financial terrorism, I can at least walk away and remember the beauty this world does offer.  Those lesser than me may not take it upon themselves to be so fortunate.

 

            I just cannot take anymore how much life cost and how much life will allow me to earn.  The two are piss poor extremes and it isn’t like I don’t want to be earning better levels of money.  I definitely do.  I can’t find the right combination of cooperation and understanding so I can earn a decent living.

 

            Money working hard for me is absolutely necessary but turning into some flop and curse on my behalf.  Which I do think is beyond disgusting.  By the hour wages are turning into a bad idea, especially when you don’t even get hours.  Salary seems to be not that much better.  Wealth has to be spread if you want this economy to thrive.  From what I just got done discussing, no human left behind.  No excuse.  No exception.  If the individual refuses to pull his or her own weight, then punish the individual solo.  Not everyone on the planet.  Those negative life hating individuals don’t represent me, which also means don’t stereotype me as those individuals either. 

 

            I am making myself ready to take this Public Adjuster Solicitor exam, which isn’t my fear.  It is being denied my ability to earn money this way because of my criminal background which will hurt me to my core once again.

 

            Thus I am still looking at a plan ‘b’ in the sense of making myself money by writing and blogging daily.  I don’t rely or trust blogger.  Their system doesn’t sit very well with me.  I need to find or figure out other blogging sites that will pay better or be a nicer overall set up for writing blogs.

 

            Not to mention being paid and published.  I may be going through Author House to get a poetry book published.  I got more than enough stuff written up.  Be organizing it all very soon.

 

            Thanks to all who read this.  I am sorry for taking a depression sabbatical from my writing goals.  There is plenty of evil to overcome in this world and plenty of people who make mistakes and will make mistakes again who need a positive guidance.  I may recognize evil for what it is worth.  I won’t exercise any of it by conscious choice.  I know about that whole never say never stuff.  Don’t force me to do what I don’t deserve to be doing. 

 

            Be good, be strong, be safe, and be supportive now.  Only united can all these problems be turned into a yesterday’s bad memory.  Peace.